Not much written in the past few weeks mainly because my time spent typing has been taken up with trying desperately to produce a vaguely amusing play for the forthcoming ADAMSCON in Blackpool.
Not that I don't enjoy it, but it is becoming harder and harder to satisfy the entertainment desires of the convention attendees without going back over some old ground.
Of course the level of humour remains the same; very low with the odd intellectual joke thrown in to keep the geeks happy.
I have abandoned the rhyming couplet Sir Roger plays as after about 10 of them it was difficult surprising the audience and the jokes got repetitive. The Space Opera, Western, Super-hero and Musical genres have all been covered, so that left pretty much nothing left to explore.
So I hope that the people who watch the play appreciate how bloody difficult it is to try to cater for their demanding tastes and endless thirst for comedic entertainment on a saturday night!
What they will also be enjoying is our own home made version of QI. Yes there are already 4 volunteers willing to take part and I get the dubious honour of taking the role of the fantastic Stephen Fry.
Just doing the research for the mini QI we are doing makes one appreciate how much Mr Fry wraps his braincells around. Granted he has the benefit of the autocue but when you are looking into a subject there are so many tangents that the panellists may go off one has to keep a handle on all of them to some extent.
So if you are reading this Mr F, my compliments on your intellectual wrestling with the subjects to which you expose your panellists.
And for my part I hope that Clive, Mark, Sarah and Stevie know an awful lot about 14th century Latvian ceramics and the rise and fall of the Westphalian nobility in the late 18th century otherwise it could be quite a dull event!
Friday, 26 February 2010
Friday, 12 February 2010
Different Strokes
We're a very tolerant folk us gamers are. Having heard some differences of opinion on a number of things this last week, some of which had become quite intense, I cannot recall ever hearing gamers be so at odds about something that it has promoted either very loud and harsh words or, heaven forfend, violence.
I do recall a long and tedious argument about picking pockets in D&D and how it was impossible for a thief to succeed in a Pick Pockets roll and take a random item from a certain character's Bag of Holding. It was a long night and I think it was unlucky that the thief happened to take the highly important scroll rather than a few packets of iron rations but ultimately, as if that had happened it wouldn't have caused quite so much turmoil.
Discussions are frequently interspersed with ridicule and subtle tests of one's knowledge; never get involved in the 'Batman v Spiderman who would win?' argument without knowing, in considerable depth, every single storyline and episode of the two comics otherwise you will be in difficulty. "Yes but if you had actually read Chapter 4 of 'The Dark Knight returns again with a new cloak part IV you would know that he carries an anti-webbing agent in his second from the left of his belt buckle utility belt pouch".
Then of course there are the D&D v MERP, Space Marines v Mechs, Horde v Alliance arguments, but as these are normally engaged after a few pints and nobody can remeber them the next day I don't think that they are worthy of comments.
This is, of course, how things work in the UK. We are the most civilised of gaming communities and will merrily berate an individual for anything from rolling a '1' to wearing a football shirt, at least we do not go as far as some Chinese gamers.
One bloke murdered his friend who was playing on his online game account and sold his favourite magic sword for large amounts of cash. That is not the sort of thing we do over here, oh no, for a start, we British are not silly enough to go around letting anyone using accounts or giving passwords away, are we?
Anyway, that's it really, I think I meant to waffle on but think as it's friday, I'll wait for the weekend for some real twaddle.
I do recall a long and tedious argument about picking pockets in D&D and how it was impossible for a thief to succeed in a Pick Pockets roll and take a random item from a certain character's Bag of Holding. It was a long night and I think it was unlucky that the thief happened to take the highly important scroll rather than a few packets of iron rations but ultimately, as if that had happened it wouldn't have caused quite so much turmoil.
Discussions are frequently interspersed with ridicule and subtle tests of one's knowledge; never get involved in the 'Batman v Spiderman who would win?' argument without knowing, in considerable depth, every single storyline and episode of the two comics otherwise you will be in difficulty. "Yes but if you had actually read Chapter 4 of 'The Dark Knight returns again with a new cloak part IV you would know that he carries an anti-webbing agent in his second from the left of his belt buckle utility belt pouch".
Then of course there are the D&D v MERP, Space Marines v Mechs, Horde v Alliance arguments, but as these are normally engaged after a few pints and nobody can remeber them the next day I don't think that they are worthy of comments.
This is, of course, how things work in the UK. We are the most civilised of gaming communities and will merrily berate an individual for anything from rolling a '1' to wearing a football shirt, at least we do not go as far as some Chinese gamers.
One bloke murdered his friend who was playing on his online game account and sold his favourite magic sword for large amounts of cash. That is not the sort of thing we do over here, oh no, for a start, we British are not silly enough to go around letting anyone using accounts or giving passwords away, are we?
Anyway, that's it really, I think I meant to waffle on but think as it's friday, I'll wait for the weekend for some real twaddle.
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
The play's the thing.
In March I will be once more attending Adamscon, an informal convention of friends and gamers in a Blackpool Hotel for the purposes of catching up with one another, and playing games.
I have the dubious honour of being asked to write a play or performance for part of the Saturday Night entertainment. Normally a witty and humourous exploration of either some aspect or genre of gaming, but normally it ends up being a cross between 'Carry on', the Lord of the Rings and a few game related jokes thrown in.
But after no fewer than 15 plays of this type including the Sir Roger series (9 of them), a zombie/superhero crossover called 'THE STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM SYRUP, BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE, PLOT TO DESTROY THE WORLD DILEMMA CRISIS', 'Claude of the Dings' about a group of gamers flicking between gaming styles and even Sir Roger: The Musical, I am starting to think that the well has run dry.
The current project, 'Darkrise to Mandelson' relies on three very important factors.
Firstly that the audience has watched or is at least aware of the BBC sunday night, easy going, light before monday, drama series 'Larkrise to Candleford'. Lots of very clean but poor 19th Century folk from a rich and a poor town or village going about their business. Hence the very subtle play on words in my little production.
Secondly, that I am able to try to think of some new crude jokes that haven't been done before, or that were in the earlier plays so nobody will remember them.
Thirdly, that I can find 4 actors and 2 actresses that can get together vaguely old fashioned outfits so they look the part.
So if any of you attendees are reading this, tell me.
And be it known that trying to keep a mixed group of thirty odd gamers with a variety of interests entertained for an hour is not easy!
And if you are interested in this forthcoming convention on the weekend of the 13th March, drop me or Mr Adams (Q&L Opposite) a line.
And finally, West Country bumpkin type accents are a must as are stuffed farmyard animals.
And did I mention beer is involved?
I have the dubious honour of being asked to write a play or performance for part of the Saturday Night entertainment. Normally a witty and humourous exploration of either some aspect or genre of gaming, but normally it ends up being a cross between 'Carry on', the Lord of the Rings and a few game related jokes thrown in.
But after no fewer than 15 plays of this type including the Sir Roger series (9 of them), a zombie/superhero crossover called 'THE STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM SYRUP, BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE, PLOT TO DESTROY THE WORLD DILEMMA CRISIS', 'Claude of the Dings' about a group of gamers flicking between gaming styles and even Sir Roger: The Musical, I am starting to think that the well has run dry.
The current project, 'Darkrise to Mandelson' relies on three very important factors.
Firstly that the audience has watched or is at least aware of the BBC sunday night, easy going, light before monday, drama series 'Larkrise to Candleford'. Lots of very clean but poor 19th Century folk from a rich and a poor town or village going about their business. Hence the very subtle play on words in my little production.
Secondly, that I am able to try to think of some new crude jokes that haven't been done before, or that were in the earlier plays so nobody will remember them.
Thirdly, that I can find 4 actors and 2 actresses that can get together vaguely old fashioned outfits so they look the part.
So if any of you attendees are reading this, tell me.
And be it known that trying to keep a mixed group of thirty odd gamers with a variety of interests entertained for an hour is not easy!
And if you are interested in this forthcoming convention on the weekend of the 13th March, drop me or Mr Adams (Q&L Opposite) a line.
And finally, West Country bumpkin type accents are a must as are stuffed farmyard animals.
And did I mention beer is involved?
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
In case of emergency...
Discussions during gaming sessions are often sources of great interest and variation. Poker Night at the Chronicle in Bebington proved no different.
It cropped up in conversation (as it does) that at least two of us at the table had made preparations and had plans for what to do in the event of a zombie attack or other such mutant dilemma.
Ross planned to make his way to Wallasey Town Hall as it had big doors, walls, kitchens, high windows and towers and numerous potential barriers against the zombie horde. It was near his house and he reckoned a quick sprint would get him there.
Similar to myself in fact, as I had opted for Christ Church at the bottom of our road; thick walls, big doors and high walls before you got to the windows.
It also had a kitchen and a source of food and water (plenty of food if the amount of cakes that appear at functions and church fetes are anything to go by) and also a healthy tower with winding staircase and, most important, a bell.
This has the distinct advantage over the town hall as I cannot imagine a zombie would have the presence of mind to go around ringing bells and would serve as an alarm and 'come and get me' message.
Not as in 'come and get me' from the zombies by the way, but as in rescue.
Someone mentioned the zombies in the cemetary around the church but this fallacy was dismissed, films have zombies emerging from the ground which is soft and often pre cut, in a real cemetary there is two ton of compacted soil to get off you and a wooden box to get out of. Not going to happen!
This conversation, as you can imagine, did promote some comments from around the table as some folk had never considered this issue; but they were addressed as follows:
"I would just run, me, as zombies are dead slow". Yes this is true but I have no doubt that this is a plan for the short term unless you are Paula Ratcliffe.
"I'd get in a big car or four by four and run the ****ers over". Again this was a short term plan but had no long term survival prospects. Also, going around trying to find such a vehicle, and the keys, and all the while dodging zombies sounds too fraught with risk. Also, glass windows at head height and thus at biting level are a no-no.
"I'd get a gun and shoot them, sort them out." Again one plan with potential in the US of A or somewhere with readily available guns but in the UK its a bit of a non-starter. Anyway, according to the films the axe that I have in the garage lined up and close to hand would be a better option and my own weapon of choice.
So anyway, I was looking like the winner especially as I have the armour and the gear to provide full body protection from bites, and a quick clearing of the way and getting the family to the church was a great plan until somebody mentioned the B&Q Superstore in Birkenhead (or the smaller one in Ellesmere Port) at which pooint we all realised the place to head for.
It is a veritable cornucopia of weaponry and survival aids. It has walls and reinforced shutters that come down in front of the glass frontage.
There are drinks and vending machines for sustenance and enough gear to set up a rain capture device on the roof. Plus you could probably catch birds and even find a way of building some overhead passageways to nearby stores that sell food (or at a push Macdonalds, but as the likeliest sources for the viral infection that causes the spread of zombification in the first place this would be a last resort).
There are also large pieces of machinery and plant equipment that could be readily converted into driveable weapons of zombie destrution, so overall we formulated a plan.
In the event of zombie attack, as quickly as possible get yourself to B&Q and tool up. Secure the building with the ample supply of bricks, cement, stakes (doubling up for vampire attack) and sit tight.
Easy.
It cropped up in conversation (as it does) that at least two of us at the table had made preparations and had plans for what to do in the event of a zombie attack or other such mutant dilemma.
Ross planned to make his way to Wallasey Town Hall as it had big doors, walls, kitchens, high windows and towers and numerous potential barriers against the zombie horde. It was near his house and he reckoned a quick sprint would get him there.
Similar to myself in fact, as I had opted for Christ Church at the bottom of our road; thick walls, big doors and high walls before you got to the windows.
It also had a kitchen and a source of food and water (plenty of food if the amount of cakes that appear at functions and church fetes are anything to go by) and also a healthy tower with winding staircase and, most important, a bell.
This has the distinct advantage over the town hall as I cannot imagine a zombie would have the presence of mind to go around ringing bells and would serve as an alarm and 'come and get me' message.
Not as in 'come and get me' from the zombies by the way, but as in rescue.
Someone mentioned the zombies in the cemetary around the church but this fallacy was dismissed, films have zombies emerging from the ground which is soft and often pre cut, in a real cemetary there is two ton of compacted soil to get off you and a wooden box to get out of. Not going to happen!
This conversation, as you can imagine, did promote some comments from around the table as some folk had never considered this issue; but they were addressed as follows:
"I would just run, me, as zombies are dead slow". Yes this is true but I have no doubt that this is a plan for the short term unless you are Paula Ratcliffe.
"I'd get in a big car or four by four and run the ****ers over". Again this was a short term plan but had no long term survival prospects. Also, going around trying to find such a vehicle, and the keys, and all the while dodging zombies sounds too fraught with risk. Also, glass windows at head height and thus at biting level are a no-no.
"I'd get a gun and shoot them, sort them out." Again one plan with potential in the US of A or somewhere with readily available guns but in the UK its a bit of a non-starter. Anyway, according to the films the axe that I have in the garage lined up and close to hand would be a better option and my own weapon of choice.
So anyway, I was looking like the winner especially as I have the armour and the gear to provide full body protection from bites, and a quick clearing of the way and getting the family to the church was a great plan until somebody mentioned the B&Q Superstore in Birkenhead (or the smaller one in Ellesmere Port) at which pooint we all realised the place to head for.
It is a veritable cornucopia of weaponry and survival aids. It has walls and reinforced shutters that come down in front of the glass frontage.
There are drinks and vending machines for sustenance and enough gear to set up a rain capture device on the roof. Plus you could probably catch birds and even find a way of building some overhead passageways to nearby stores that sell food (or at a push Macdonalds, but as the likeliest sources for the viral infection that causes the spread of zombification in the first place this would be a last resort).
There are also large pieces of machinery and plant equipment that could be readily converted into driveable weapons of zombie destrution, so overall we formulated a plan.
In the event of zombie attack, as quickly as possible get yourself to B&Q and tool up. Secure the building with the ample supply of bricks, cement, stakes (doubling up for vampire attack) and sit tight.
Easy.
Monday, 25 January 2010
Gaming blamed for something else!
Yes, not another week goes by without gaming being blamed for something else, this time, Rickets!
Some doctors somewhere have decided that the rise in that condition that everyone was taught about in school, that can be prevented by eating proper food such as fish that had Vitamin D in it, is caused by games.
Now, call me stupid (as people are wont to do) but surely the cause is just, well, not eating a proper diet and getting enough sunshine.
Not that sunshine is the issue here in tropical Britain and particularly the North East, where the beach is full of tanned beauties and the sun beams healthy rays most of the year as opposed to it lashing down with rain, being bitterly cold and no-one actually goes out because it's so wet and cold!
And since when has a total of 100 cases in England a year been some sort of epidemic and not just a sign of the population rise and more parents who think that a Big Mac with gherkins is a balanced meal?!?
This joins the merry list of things games have been blamed for including, but not exclusively,
Poor family relationships
Murder
Animal Cruelty
England not Qualifying for the Euro 2008 finals
The Illegal Import of Stag Beetles into Japan
Child Neglect
The Decline of the Camping Holiday!
Drugs, Murder AND Teen Pregnancy (Bless the Chinese authorities for this one!)
and, finally,
Games have been blamed for the decline of games sales!
And here was me thinking that gaming was responsible for advanced dice sales, the rise of the entertainment market and late nights playing one's favourite game, along with increased social interaction, vocabulary and an introduction to some of the literary greats like the Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.
Now excuse me, I have to go out and try to avoid engaging in mindless criminal activity whilst eating some Cod Liver Oil tablets..
Some doctors somewhere have decided that the rise in that condition that everyone was taught about in school, that can be prevented by eating proper food such as fish that had Vitamin D in it, is caused by games.
Now, call me stupid (as people are wont to do) but surely the cause is just, well, not eating a proper diet and getting enough sunshine.
Not that sunshine is the issue here in tropical Britain and particularly the North East, where the beach is full of tanned beauties and the sun beams healthy rays most of the year as opposed to it lashing down with rain, being bitterly cold and no-one actually goes out because it's so wet and cold!
And since when has a total of 100 cases in England a year been some sort of epidemic and not just a sign of the population rise and more parents who think that a Big Mac with gherkins is a balanced meal?!?
This joins the merry list of things games have been blamed for including, but not exclusively,
Poor family relationships
Murder
Animal Cruelty
England not Qualifying for the Euro 2008 finals
The Illegal Import of Stag Beetles into Japan
Child Neglect
The Decline of the Camping Holiday!
Drugs, Murder AND Teen Pregnancy (Bless the Chinese authorities for this one!)
and, finally,
Games have been blamed for the decline of games sales!
And here was me thinking that gaming was responsible for advanced dice sales, the rise of the entertainment market and late nights playing one's favourite game, along with increased social interaction, vocabulary and an introduction to some of the literary greats like the Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.
Now excuse me, I have to go out and try to avoid engaging in mindless criminal activity whilst eating some Cod Liver Oil tablets..
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Do you Buy it?
On my way into work this morning, as I passed Moorfields station entrance, I was confronted by two individuals dressed as, what looked like, some sort of pink blancmange henceforth referred to as the 'Blobs'.
The Blobs sported some sort of body suit of a distastefully, pink colour reminiscent of a hospital ward that had been decorated some years ago at a time of severe budget restrictions; they were revealing only spindly arms and legs, the main bulk of the Blobs was some sort of vague triangle shape with a protrusion at the front. They were rounded, which put me in mind of one of those rubbers (erasers!) that you had as a kid that started out somewhat 'amusingly' looking like a wedge of cheese but after some strenuous use destroying what your classmates had sneakily scrawled on the inside cover of your chemistry homework book (in pencil thankfully) involving the teacher and the hose from a bunsen burner, looked more like, well one of these Blobs.
Not wishing to stop and get the attention of these individuals I kept walking and then noticed the people on the periphery of the Blobs wearing luminous vests normally associated with either fire wardens or someone working for Railtrack in inclement weather. As the weather was light drizzle and cold, they also bore the same drab expressions Railtrack workers also bear, along with the disconsolate look of someone with the happiness beaten out of them.
Most of them were none too cheerfully handing out small packages but the two near me were talking about the forthcoming 'chocolate muffin' stunt they intended to pull outside a coffee house. These two were no doubt the orchestrators of the 'stunt' however given the fact that their sole contribution to advertising so far was dressing people up in very poor costumes, I did not hold up much hope for the success of the coffee house project if the chocolate muffin costumes were on a par with the Blobs. They may be better off trying to promote the opening of the Prosnicky Sewage Plant.
Then I saw one of the packages on the floor, a complementary tissue that was apparently different to all other tissues in the known world as it had some sort of decongestant balm laced into it. Not that this strikes me as odd as I distinctly recall this being on our household shopping list when all of us had colds and the accompanying increased mucus production it entails.
On that note, it is incredible how kids can produce so much snot, and even worse, have the ability to sneeze it across vast distances just after you have wiped their nose for them. I speak from experience and no doubt so do many others.
Ah, then it struck me, (not some wayward mucus from a passing child) I knew what they were. The Blobs were in fact noses; a quick sideways glance at the closest managed to get a glimpse of a vague set of nostrils albeit without what one would have expected from a nose supposedly beset with a cold; either a dangling dewdrop or a stream of green ichor.
So I had stumbled upon some advertising stunt for the sale of some new and revolutionary tissue with stuff in it to help keep the bane of the British worker at bay.
Now, I will admit to not being fully au fait with the trends in the 21st centuries advertising techniques, but I cannot come to grips with how on earth getting two drama students (and I guess they were drama students as they would be the only people who would even want to be associated with this sort of thing) to put on bad outfits and stand waving at people at the start of the onlookers' day at work, in the light drizzle of a darkened winter morning is going to convince anyone that they really ought to buy this product or even give it a second thought?
Some amongst you may even ponder on whether it has served its purpose by at least one person writing about it, i.e. me, however having completely failed to pass on any details about what the product is called or who makes it (a fairly fundamental point in advertising methinks) I consider the whole operation a complete failure.
As would the fine people of Liverpool charged with cleaning the streets, who will be faced with the task of cleaning up the myriad dropped leaflets that had been thrust at unwanted hands, and the tissues that had been wafted around to try to get people to get a whiff of the pungent decongestant the magical properties of the tissue were so firmly dependant upon and promptly dropped on the floor.
Now as I have to try to find some sort of game related link in everything I write, having set myself this task in order to add some sort of continuity to proceedings, I cannot for one moment imagine anyone who has engaged in any reasonable amount of role playing games coming up with such a basically inept advertising campaign as the one experienced this morning.
For a start, people in nose costumes are not going to attract much attention as exhibited by the pathetic exercise witnessed by yours truly. However, if the idea is to prevent colds and mucus related embarrassment then your focus for attention grabbing stunts should be the target of the whole operation mucus or more correctly, its removal and/or prevention.
In the vast majority of role playing games there is some sort of opposition to be fought and/or eradicated. Goblins, anti-heroes, evil robots, cthuloid extra dimensional madness inducing monsters, the list is near endless (not this particular list as it was actually quite short but I like to think that you get the idea). Therefore to add shock and drama at least one person should have been dressed as the mucus or snot.
It could be in the form of some gelatinous entity similar to a large jelly, or Armus in the Star Trek: TNG episode 'Skin of Evil', or some menacing bad guy armed with a bin full of lime jelly or even better, a lime jelly projecting device; a converted fire extinguisher or suchlike.
From there, someone dressed as a tissue or tissue based superhero, preferably armed with some sort of decongestant weaponry, could have disposed of the Snot entity. This would have been much more of a spectacle and would have caused people to actually take notice of what was going on.
Have some suitably prompt examples handed out after the climactic battle (ending just outside Costa cofee as quite a few people were gathered under the awning drinking a final wake me up before the drudgery began) and a bloke with a megaphone shouting the name of the product very loudly and some catchphrase or other and when people got to work they would no doubt chat with their colleagues about the marvellous sight they beheld as Captain Tissue destroyed the Snot Invader from Planet Mucus using 'Snotgon' tissues, or something.
I cannot imagine what sort of budget these people had to do the advertising stunt I witnessed, but if a bunch of gamers had been given the same funds the result would have been a lot more impressive and considerably more worth watching. I have no doubt that part of the budget would have gone on an initial brainstorming session drinking Wobbly Bob up in The Swan, or some similar establishment, but the results would have been just as effective.
And think of the change in established adverts; ladies would not just be able to play tennis at certain lunar based events, they would be able to wield flamethrowers, chainsaws and rocket launchers. The honey monster would actually eat kids if they didn't eat their cereal and the flake adverts, well they would probably stay the same or at least change somewhat after the watershed.
I don't know if there are any gamers in advertising, but I think there should be.
The Blobs sported some sort of body suit of a distastefully, pink colour reminiscent of a hospital ward that had been decorated some years ago at a time of severe budget restrictions; they were revealing only spindly arms and legs, the main bulk of the Blobs was some sort of vague triangle shape with a protrusion at the front. They were rounded, which put me in mind of one of those rubbers (erasers!) that you had as a kid that started out somewhat 'amusingly' looking like a wedge of cheese but after some strenuous use destroying what your classmates had sneakily scrawled on the inside cover of your chemistry homework book (in pencil thankfully) involving the teacher and the hose from a bunsen burner, looked more like, well one of these Blobs.
Not wishing to stop and get the attention of these individuals I kept walking and then noticed the people on the periphery of the Blobs wearing luminous vests normally associated with either fire wardens or someone working for Railtrack in inclement weather. As the weather was light drizzle and cold, they also bore the same drab expressions Railtrack workers also bear, along with the disconsolate look of someone with the happiness beaten out of them.
Most of them were none too cheerfully handing out small packages but the two near me were talking about the forthcoming 'chocolate muffin' stunt they intended to pull outside a coffee house. These two were no doubt the orchestrators of the 'stunt' however given the fact that their sole contribution to advertising so far was dressing people up in very poor costumes, I did not hold up much hope for the success of the coffee house project if the chocolate muffin costumes were on a par with the Blobs. They may be better off trying to promote the opening of the Prosnicky Sewage Plant.
Then I saw one of the packages on the floor, a complementary tissue that was apparently different to all other tissues in the known world as it had some sort of decongestant balm laced into it. Not that this strikes me as odd as I distinctly recall this being on our household shopping list when all of us had colds and the accompanying increased mucus production it entails.
On that note, it is incredible how kids can produce so much snot, and even worse, have the ability to sneeze it across vast distances just after you have wiped their nose for them. I speak from experience and no doubt so do many others.
Ah, then it struck me, (not some wayward mucus from a passing child) I knew what they were. The Blobs were in fact noses; a quick sideways glance at the closest managed to get a glimpse of a vague set of nostrils albeit without what one would have expected from a nose supposedly beset with a cold; either a dangling dewdrop or a stream of green ichor.
So I had stumbled upon some advertising stunt for the sale of some new and revolutionary tissue with stuff in it to help keep the bane of the British worker at bay.
Now, I will admit to not being fully au fait with the trends in the 21st centuries advertising techniques, but I cannot come to grips with how on earth getting two drama students (and I guess they were drama students as they would be the only people who would even want to be associated with this sort of thing) to put on bad outfits and stand waving at people at the start of the onlookers' day at work, in the light drizzle of a darkened winter morning is going to convince anyone that they really ought to buy this product or even give it a second thought?
Some amongst you may even ponder on whether it has served its purpose by at least one person writing about it, i.e. me, however having completely failed to pass on any details about what the product is called or who makes it (a fairly fundamental point in advertising methinks) I consider the whole operation a complete failure.
As would the fine people of Liverpool charged with cleaning the streets, who will be faced with the task of cleaning up the myriad dropped leaflets that had been thrust at unwanted hands, and the tissues that had been wafted around to try to get people to get a whiff of the pungent decongestant the magical properties of the tissue were so firmly dependant upon and promptly dropped on the floor.
Now as I have to try to find some sort of game related link in everything I write, having set myself this task in order to add some sort of continuity to proceedings, I cannot for one moment imagine anyone who has engaged in any reasonable amount of role playing games coming up with such a basically inept advertising campaign as the one experienced this morning.
For a start, people in nose costumes are not going to attract much attention as exhibited by the pathetic exercise witnessed by yours truly. However, if the idea is to prevent colds and mucus related embarrassment then your focus for attention grabbing stunts should be the target of the whole operation mucus or more correctly, its removal and/or prevention.
In the vast majority of role playing games there is some sort of opposition to be fought and/or eradicated. Goblins, anti-heroes, evil robots, cthuloid extra dimensional madness inducing monsters, the list is near endless (not this particular list as it was actually quite short but I like to think that you get the idea). Therefore to add shock and drama at least one person should have been dressed as the mucus or snot.
It could be in the form of some gelatinous entity similar to a large jelly, or Armus in the Star Trek: TNG episode 'Skin of Evil', or some menacing bad guy armed with a bin full of lime jelly or even better, a lime jelly projecting device; a converted fire extinguisher or suchlike.
From there, someone dressed as a tissue or tissue based superhero, preferably armed with some sort of decongestant weaponry, could have disposed of the Snot entity. This would have been much more of a spectacle and would have caused people to actually take notice of what was going on.
Have some suitably prompt examples handed out after the climactic battle (ending just outside Costa cofee as quite a few people were gathered under the awning drinking a final wake me up before the drudgery began) and a bloke with a megaphone shouting the name of the product very loudly and some catchphrase or other and when people got to work they would no doubt chat with their colleagues about the marvellous sight they beheld as Captain Tissue destroyed the Snot Invader from Planet Mucus using 'Snotgon' tissues, or something.
I cannot imagine what sort of budget these people had to do the advertising stunt I witnessed, but if a bunch of gamers had been given the same funds the result would have been a lot more impressive and considerably more worth watching. I have no doubt that part of the budget would have gone on an initial brainstorming session drinking Wobbly Bob up in The Swan, or some similar establishment, but the results would have been just as effective.
And think of the change in established adverts; ladies would not just be able to play tennis at certain lunar based events, they would be able to wield flamethrowers, chainsaws and rocket launchers. The honey monster would actually eat kids if they didn't eat their cereal and the flake adverts, well they would probably stay the same or at least change somewhat after the watershed.
I don't know if there are any gamers in advertising, but I think there should be.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
My First Blog - what to expect...
I have the strong suspicion that I am going have to exert great control in all my Blogs to prevent them from becoming angry rants, or a place to vent my ire at anything from global events, national disgraces or people that get on the bus and proceed to spend 5 minutes getting their bag, looking for their purse, sorting through half a ton of shrapnel before promptly dropping said ton of shrapnel on the floor and then spending another 5 minutes picking it up and trying desperately to find the 20p piece that they were sure had been in the purse but then suddenly remembered giving it to their friend to buy a paper earlier that mroning, before getting their ticket (having asked the bus driver to rip it from the machine for fear of a paper cut) THEN without moving from the spot right in front of the driver thus preventing the long queue of people still waiting to get on the bus most of them being stuck out in the raid,taking time to put the change back in their purse, the purse is then put in the bag, the bag placed on their arm, followed by a compulsory straightening of their coat and then moving off down the bus to find a seat next to someone so they can complain why the buses are always so late!
See, done it already, looks like this is going to be the trend for the future; expect nothing less reader.
I am going to take this opportunity to thank Steve and Mark, whose Blogs have inspired me to start my own. As a result I insist that they read them.
I cannot hope to match the sheer political eloquence and poignancy of Steve Tierney or the camp, animal loving abandon of Mark Adams, however what I can do is my own thing, influenced by many things...
I have passed the tender age of 40, and though I still have the thoughts and, thank the Gods, the faculties (mostly) of my youth, I have the wisdom or more accurately the hindsight of age.
I have a job, I have a wonderful wife and 2 (mostly) fantastic children and a roof over our heads.
And I love games, more specifically role playing games, be they online, live role playing or whetever, I am a fan of the worlds of goblins and trolls. I'd say elves but I spent most of my early role playing days killing them not being them although I soon realised that being a nasty, megalomaniacal, murdering character was not as much fun in the long run and made things difficult socially.
So my view on life comes from a career in the law, a borderline mis-spent youth and all things dice related.
I have widened my areas of interest to include a great number of things, two of them being beer and cooking; usually at the same time. So don't be surprised if they play a big part in the blogs as both are my mental therapy.
So be prepared for, well I am not sure actually, and thank you for using some precious moments of your life reading my drivel; there will be more to come.
TAG (The Ageing Gamer)
See, done it already, looks like this is going to be the trend for the future; expect nothing less reader.
I am going to take this opportunity to thank Steve and Mark, whose Blogs have inspired me to start my own. As a result I insist that they read them.
I cannot hope to match the sheer political eloquence and poignancy of Steve Tierney or the camp, animal loving abandon of Mark Adams, however what I can do is my own thing, influenced by many things...
I have passed the tender age of 40, and though I still have the thoughts and, thank the Gods, the faculties (mostly) of my youth, I have the wisdom or more accurately the hindsight of age.
I have a job, I have a wonderful wife and 2 (mostly) fantastic children and a roof over our heads.
And I love games, more specifically role playing games, be they online, live role playing or whetever, I am a fan of the worlds of goblins and trolls. I'd say elves but I spent most of my early role playing days killing them not being them although I soon realised that being a nasty, megalomaniacal, murdering character was not as much fun in the long run and made things difficult socially.
So my view on life comes from a career in the law, a borderline mis-spent youth and all things dice related.
I have widened my areas of interest to include a great number of things, two of them being beer and cooking; usually at the same time. So don't be surprised if they play a big part in the blogs as both are my mental therapy.
So be prepared for, well I am not sure actually, and thank you for using some precious moments of your life reading my drivel; there will be more to come.
TAG (The Ageing Gamer)
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